Communication In Relation - A Reminder: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

A connection between two or more people is something name as RELATION. A connection can be in family, with friends, people in office, in school etc.

We all love to connect with others. It gives us happiness, peaceful environment, security and great satisfaction in life. For successful social interaction, communication is the key. Although for a good going relation all the other elements like love, care, trust, understanding etc are equally important. What differentiated the communication with others is control. Others are self generated emotions with time and closeness, while communication can be mastered with hard work and common sense.



As Joseph Sommerville, PhD said:

"We take communication for granted because we do it so frequently, but it's actually a complex process."  

We all know and understand very well the importance of communication. We know this basic philosophy of the relationship. Still we do not bother to correct it whenever we are wrong. 

* Kids not listening to their parent.                     

* Parents not trying to understand their kids.

* Siblings do not have enough time for one another.

* Boss always blaming employees for not so good work.

* Employees always criticizing boss behind him/her.

* Teachers in hurry for accomplishing class tasks.

* Students do not want to always study.

* Then couples issues which are uncountable.

and so on....

There is a famous saying by William Shakespeare: 

"There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so." 

                                                                                   

There is no formula for good relations. We only need to work on it to make it better by controlling our communication.

Why communication is important?

How to communicate in a relation?

What to say and what not to say?

SO MANY QUESTIONS.

AND WE ALL KNOW THE ANSWERS.

WHATS wrong is actually we are not enough motivated to work hard on this. Its so easy to say whatever comes in mind through mouth in any state. We don't want to implement what we know to keep a relation strong. 

*We find it unimportant to be polite all the time and with everyone.

*We find it boring to listen someone patiently.

*We find it time taking to understand someone.

*We find it crazy to keep a smile always on our faces.

And so many things we find as excuses to ignore the hard work required for a good communication.

We do not need teachings, we need motivation to improve.

As per Roy T Bennett:

“Listen with curiosity. Speak with honesty. Act with integrity. The greatest problem with communication is we don’t listen to understand. We listen to reply. When we listen with curiosity, we don’t listen with the intent to reply. We listen for what’s behind the words.” 

Communication is an skill which comes with practice. To master or develop this skill following things need to be taken care:

* Keep yourself motivated always. Set reminders if required.

* Before initiating communication, understand your own emotions. Negative emotions always direct to bad communication.

By Emma Thompson:

"Any problem, big or small, within a family, always seems to start with bad communication. Someone isn't listening."

* Try to say negative things in assertive statements.

* Listen to other person and understand his or her feelings exactly the way person trying to convey by observing body language, voice and facial expressions.

* Arguments are not always bad if taken with right approach and in right direction.

As per science, arguments are always good for strong relations. As it takes out all your discomfort, satisfy anxiety and maintains transparency. However it should be carried in normal pace, smooth voice or low pitch, mutually and end up in a solution. A badly initiated argument with yelling goes nowhere and hence always dangerous for relations too. Even kids should be taught that its OK to have arguments wherever required. Its a part of healthy relationship if ended up with a better solution.

*Try to avoid discussions related to money in relations. This is the element that always goes wrong and spoils bonding.

* Give yourself break from daily routine and communication with same people all the time. Go out with friends, travel and explore around to refresh your mind and emotions.

* Avoid important discussions or sharing of emotions on text messages. 

An apology, love confession, important arguments, loneliness etc should always be communicated face to face. In such type of communication body language, facial expressions, posture etc matters a lot. We should not stop our important moments from framing memories for us. We can always make them precious by talking directly.

As said by Stephen King: "The most important things are the hardest to say, because words diminish them."

* Being emotional and being sensitive are different things. 

An emotional thinks about own emotions always while a sensitive person gets effected by others feelings. The two things need balance for mutual understanding of feelings.

* While conveying your thoughts or emotions, maintain a positive body language with confidence. Be calm and say exactly that you mean.

"Be sincere; Be brief; Be seated."― Franklin Delano Roosevelt

* Do less complains, more appreciations. Try to forget others mistakes and forgive them.

"The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong." ― Mahatma Gandhi

* Find if the communication is not fruitful then don't carry it uselessly.

In a good relation, one should be able to speak anything and everything seems a myth in today's time. People get hurt, emotional and effected very easily. We lack bearing power or we do not want to listen any nuisance. So, lets improve ourselves in communication. 

We do not have time to improve in communication is another myth. The fact is its most important essence of our life and it should be given priority. The more you communicate, the more you come closer, the more you develop trust, the more secure you feel and the more peaceful life you live.